No Orphans

I grew up with the knowledge that I was a little different than everyone else in my family.  I was treated extra special.  My grandparents lavished gifts and treats on me that my cousins didn’t get.  I got to lick the cake batter off the cake spoon rather than having to scrape the bowl.  I got a larger share of the sugary, icy snow cones we enjoyed occasionally.  Whenever relatives visited, they stared at me sadly and said I looked just like my mother.  I didn’t really pay attention.  At that point in my life, my grandmother made up my world.  I spent all my time with her.  I don’t remember at what point I found out that my mother had died when I was a year and half old.  I don’t remember finding out that my father had abandoned me with my grandmother.  One of my aunts eventually adopted me but essentially, I was an orphan.  That fact haunted me enough to lead me to a really dark place in my life.  I was self-destructive, spoiled, rude, and suicidal.  I starved for love of some sort.  My adopted mother didn’t dole out love the way I wanted her to and my grandmother was far away.  The need for love left me easily swayed by men.  I thought I needed to drink and party to fit in.  I did it all, but I hated every minute of it.  There was no joy in my life.  It sounds so cliché, but it’s so true.  I was an orphan and I felt alone and abandoned most of the time.

What I’m grateful for now is the fact that there are no orphans of God.  You see He doesn’t leave you or forsake you.  If He cares for the sparrow, how much more is His love for me…for us?  Humans are the pinnacle of God’s creation, He made us just a little lower than the angels.  He LOVES us!!!  His love is encompassing, unfailing, and infinite.  Where I had no parent, when I desperately needed one, He showed up and most importantly, He STAYED!

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